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Thursday, November 6th, 2003
11:12 pm
Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid |||| 18%
Schizoid |||||| 30%
Schizotypal |||||| 22%
Antisocial |||||||||| 38%
Borderline |||||||||||| 46%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 62%
Narcissistic |||||||||||| 50%
Avoidant |||||||||||||| 54%
Dependent |||||||||||| 42%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||| 62%
Take Free Personality Disorder Test

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Tuesday, September 2nd, 2003
10:46 pm - Today is a good day!!
What a day! I am on cloud nine!! This is how my day has gone:
First, on my lunch break, my manager from the jewelry store called and I got a .75 raise there! (AND, she didn't mention anymore about me coming back full-time!! I think she was just desperate, but she hired some new people today :)) And, I got my own key to the store... oooh aaaaah!
Secondly, about 7:15 tonight, the VP and the Operations Manager pulled me away from the desk to talk to me. I had gone to Liz a couple of weeks ago to talk about moving somewhere else within the office. That way, I'll have something to do other than answer phones and do the little random few-and-far-between projects that Liz would have me do. Well, anyway, tonight Paul and Alan said they were really considering making a new position and that I should be well utilized in it!!! Apparently, I'm very good at Excel, and they need someone who can do that stuff to create and run reports (along with some other stuff). So, that should come with a raise, too. I think my new title will be Operations Assistant if the position comes to fruition. Right now, it's just on the drawing board, but they do need it! Since most of what Liz has me do is create spreadsheets for her, I had thought to myself "Wouldn't it be nice if there was a position where I could just do spreadsheet projects and other similar things?" Well, apparently Liz spread her impressed-ness with Paul and Alan (plus, they were around when I showed our IT guy how to do something the other day! LOL) and I guess that got their wheels churning. So, my idle thoughts might actually be something that comes to be!! WOOHOO!!!

Thirdly, I went to Express tonight to order some jeans (since I can order them in X-Long!!). If I got an Express card, I could save an additional 15%. Well, I didn't think I could get the credit card, but I tried so I could save some more money (and then pay it off right away). Well, I got approved!! Okay... I know I don't need another credit card, but I don't shop there much anyway. Within this good thing, there is another. I had a $10 off coupon for a jeans purchase. Well... I couldn't use it on the ordered jeans :( But, the manager person was there, and he just said to take it off of the other stuff I bought!! YAY for saving money. Unfortunately, I can't wear any of the clothes I have bought lately since they are all for cooler and cold weather. Oh well... I'll get there soon enough-- so glad, too, since my winter wardrobe is much cuter than my summer one :) Anyway... that's about it. It's time to eat dinner (yeah, eating this late sucks! but that's the nature of my job), so I am gonna go now!

Good luck to those of you starting school again. And good luck to those of you who are NOT starting school again and are starting the real world!! Love y'all all!!

current mood: happy

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Monday, August 18th, 2003
11:47 am - Hmmm
<td bgcolor="#000000">Your LJ username</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your real name</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your sex</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your age</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your last words will be...</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">"LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED" </td></tr>
What will your last words be? by cum_on_bitch
Created with quill18</a>'s MemeGen!

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Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003
10:43 pm
So, Lisa reminded me today that I haven't written in here in forever!
My 3-month unemployment hellacious stint is over now, so I can't bitch and moan about that.
My love-life is doing awesome, so I don't want to give anyone a cavity by gooshing about that.
And overall, life is good, so there's not too much to share!
A few things that are noteworthy:
About 2 weeks after I was at home getting my new car (see previous entry) I was woken up at 8:00 in the morning on a Monday morning by my Daddy telling me that my grandfather had died! So, thanks to my uncle Mike (my mom's brother, not my dad's) I was able to go home to be with Daddy. It was so hard seeing my Daddy cry and hurting. I was just glad I could be with him (even if he did practically ignore me at the funeral home the night before the funeral and was introducing his girlfriend to everyone, but that's neither here nor there). That's the main reason I went home. I hadn't actually seen my grandfather in about 3 years. It's sooo weird because I was up til 4:30 or 5 the night he died (unbeknownst to me at the time) and for some reason, he just popped in my head and I was wondering how he was doing. Little did I know, that he was actually dying at almost the same time. Daddy had thought of calling me when he got in from the hospital (oh... it was rather sudden, btw) but thought I'd be sleeping. Anyway, yeah... that was just weird. Flights home were "fun" considering I'd just start crying at any time. Like I said, I hadn't been close to him in years, but this was my first experience at losing a grandparent (or anyone that closely related) and it was hard. Fortunately, I am older than a lot of people are when they lose a grandparent, but I also was thinking of how much more hard it would be if it had been either of my other three grandparents.
Next item of note:
I HAVE A JOB!! AND I LIKE IT!! I work for NovaStar Mortgage, Inc. (www.novastaris.com) as a receptionist. I stay very busy most days and the people are EVER so much more friendly than they were at my other job. So, I'm more confident now that it wasn't ME who couldn't do the other job, but rather the environment I was working in made it difficult for me. Most of you know I worked at Concordia's switchboard and was a whiz at memorizing people's extensions... well, it's no different here! I have everyone's extensions memorized (that's about 75-80... it fluctuates-- loan officers seem to come and go comparatively quickly around there)!! The hours are great-- 11:30-8:30 M-Th, and 8:30-5:30 on Fri (but, I get free breakfast, so that helps), and I get to wear jeans!! WOOHOO!! The pay barely pays my bills, but hey-- at least it does! Well.... sorta... I still work part-time at the jewelry store (about 20 hrs per month, i think is what it will amount to) and also the Mathieson's (Mike's parents who have their home-business) still use me to stuff envelopes for $10/hr, so it's all good. Plus, my wonderful boyfriend helps keep food and entertainment expenses down for me :)
Speaking of my wonderful boyfriend... the next noteworthy item:
No! This is not going to be a goosh-fest!! It's just that he is very heavily considering joining the military. Not exactly sure which branch, but since he says only gay men go into the Navy, and the Marines are all ass-holes (all that I've known have been, too, and he works with quite a few of them as well), that leaves the Army (which I'm pulling for, but leaving him to his own decision-making) and the Air Force (which he wants to do, but will for sure have to drop about 20-25lbs). He's just tired of not DOING anything (correction: getting paid $12/hr for not doing anything) and just wants to do something that matters. You can't get much more mattering than that!! So, we'll see how this pans out. I obviously love him and will support him in whatever he decides, in addition to going where he goes when the time comes (IF he moves, and IF we are married). He's going Friday to the recruiting office to see what sort of jobs and such he can do. He's VERY smart so I think he should be some sort of analyst, but we'll see :)
On my career-front:
I have applied to the University of Maryland University College (which is SOOO not like CURF's University College). Like CURF's, it is geared for people who are already working and working full-time, usually. Yet, they offer so many more majors and ways to get your education. Ie: I may be doing a history major, completely online, in about a year and a half (having all my gen-ed's done and most of a minor, that only leaves my history courses to take). Still not completely sure-- but, since CURF seems to be going to shit these days, I am not sure I want my degree from there, ya know? I want to be proud of the place I get my degree from. Yes, I still love a lot of people at CURF, but that doesn't mean I have to like the school and the way it has run things. So, yeah... I think I can teach history a WHOLE lot better than I could ever teach English, so when I get around to it, I can get my teaching certificate and do that. I still want to try police dispatching for awhile, but I need to stay put for now. I had applied to Anne Arundel PD in like April, and long story made short, they called me my SECOND day on my other job. Oh well, it would probably have wound up being too much of a commute. Plus, i need to stay put to have some employment length somewhere besides CURF. I will revisit the dispatching thing (for like Montgomery County, where I hope to move to) in 6 mos- a year or so. Who knows?
So, thats about all that's been going on with me lately. I don't regret moving, but some days I miss all my friends DEARLY and will just break down and cry. Sometimes, it'll be at a time where I can call one of them or something, but at least I have a steady shoulder to cry on (he's finally starting to understand that crying doesn't mean you're weak!). So, yeah...
Oh... one final thing! I've had a birthday since my last post (June 25; my man's was on the 24th- he turned 22). I'm now 24-- so all those who didn't like me when I was 23, you can love me again! LOL
I hope everyone else's lives are doing well! Love y'all!!

current mood: content

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Friday, March 21st, 2003
1:39 pm - If It Weren't For Bad Luck, I'd Have No Luck At All
To borrow lyrics from an old country song :-P That's what my Mama says about my life anyway LOL
I'm sure most of you know by now that in one weekend, I lost my full-time job and totalled my new car that I hadn't even started making payments on! (Which, in a way, is lucky since I cannot afford payments right now). And just last week, I replaced my VCR (since they couldn't fix my old one) and I was sitting there watching TV (since I get more channels when I run the cable through the VCR) and my new TV just craps out! They couldn't fix it, either, but at least I bought the service plan, so they're gonna replace that, too :-P And yesterday, when I got ready to leave SC to come back to MD, my car lost power twice!! Luckily, there's the 30-Day/1,000-mi. warranty on it, so the place I got the car from paid to have the battery replaced (it was the wrong kind for the car so the alternator wasn't working nicely with it).
Oh well, things are starting to look up a bit. I went home this past week for a few days. Gave me some time to regroup and get a new car. So, my new car belongs to my mother, but she's just letting me drive it for awhile. It's a green 98 Saturn SL2. At least it has a CD player already in it!! I'm not all that excited over it, but with our budget, we didn't have much choice. When I get some money, I'm going to start paying Mama a little bit for the car. If I get the job I want (a police dispatching job) then I figure that I'll keep this car for the next year or so and then get a NEW one. I've decided that THIS IS MY LAST USED CAR!! *dreams of Hondas* :-p
Oh, I'm sure most of you would like to know about my boyfriend. We've hit some stressful times, but we've pulled through! It's kinda stressful on a relationship when one person is depending on the other for rides and such. That and a few other pretty minor things put some strain on us, but we're still together and happier now! :) Amazing Mike Deed #42: He brings me CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!!
Anyway, since we slept through going to the National Zoo today, we're going to do other stuff, so I must shower now. Catch ya later!
Speaking of sleep, btw-- I'm not sleeping well :( All night, I am either awake, half-awake, or dreaming... I never get to dreamless, deep sleep :( So, I wake up tired cuz my dreams are all so involved and tiring! Anyway... just pray I can start getting some good sleep!!

current mood: dirty

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Friday, February 14th, 2003
9:52 pm - Update 2
So, yeah... long time no write. Again... not due to lack of events!!
I was talking to Lisa tonight and I realized I have exactly 3 things right now that are keeping me going... luckily they are powerful so that I don't get down and depressed-- cuz somehow, I keep laughing through it all!! :) In no particular order:
1. I have a 2nd job that I think I will really like (this is keeping me going b/c A) I hate my FT job and B) I'm broke as ass... I was in tears on Wed. cuz I was so broke-- luckily my Daddy is a sucker for my tears sometimes and he put some money into my acct today!! :) yay... then I was able to afford a box of hamburger helper to fix for supper tonight :)) I will be working at the mall, thereby being around more people and also making money. I work at a jewelry store-- not like Zales, though... it is called Silver Heron and it sells semi-precious stones rather than the precious ones.
2. I have a sexy car . I am the proud owner of a black 1996 Honda Civic (which is contributing to the broke part, BUT it's not b/c I just wanted a new car... my other one died and was FUBAR! Was gonna cost more to fix it than it is worth... which, brings me to my 3rd point:
3. I have an amazing boyfriend! While I was trying to decide what to do with my car, he was wonderful enough to take me to work for 2.5 weeks-- oh shucks! he had to come over after he got off work at night so he could take me ;). Quite stressful on the relationship, but we made it! We haven't been together long at all, but we're so in love! It's not all white-hot and passion... it's just... there! Like no worries about his feelings changing or that I can do something that will make him break up with me. We're 99.9% sure we'll end up together-- not just "I can see being with you"... it's more "I can't see being without you"!! Anyway... I don't really want to go on and on and gag you people to death :)
I'm so tired. It's Valentine's night, and Mike had to work :( I made Hamburger Helper for myself at his apt and doing FREE laundry while I'm waiting for him to get home. Oh well... We'll do our thing tomorrow. If we don't get snowed in, we're going down to DC tomorrow to hang out and he's going to show me the sights (I've been there once in like 9th grade) and then we're going to an expensive fondu place :) He's more the "I'll show you I love you any day and any way I damn well please" sort, so it's not really for Valentine's-- it's just the first Saturday he's had off (he luckly got his schedule changed so that I don't have to sit at home every weekend while he works). And it's not like he's the kind to blow off V-Day cuz he thinks it's so Hallmark and says he'll show me loves me other days and then DOESN'T do it... he does show me... very much so! He's wonderful :) Oops... there I go gushing again. Anyway... I'm tired and I need to try to be awake when he gets home so I thought I'd write here.
Oh... here's why I hate my job: I don't feel welcome there. One of my bosses will give me something to do and when I ask him something, his response either directly or indirectly says to me that the task isn't important! I can't handle that. The last straw came yesterday, though. I never get asked to lunch with anyone anyway, but yesterday was a farewell lunch for Dave-- Guess who didn't get invited and wound up sitting in the office all alone... ME! I just don't think that's right at all!! I wouldn't have found out about until they all trooped out the door unless Deb hadn't come to me saying that she could watch the phones since she wasn't going to "the lunch"-- about which I knew NOTHING! So, yeah... when she got back from wherever she went for lunch, she and I talked and she said she had asked Corrine (my immediate supervisor) if I was going, and Corrine said she didn't know-- well of course she didn't... she hadn't asked me! Oh I was pissed off!! I've had it. And see... it's not like they're all old fogeys or anything-- they're all my age. Two are over 30, one is 30, and the rest are 23-28 or so! I didn't feel invited along to the bar after the holiday outing at the comedy club, either. Luckily i had my Michael and we went home and put together my fouton and had a loverly time of it :) It's not the position itself, but rather the environment. Jeff (my overall super.) said I needed to act like I want to be there, but then there's the whole chicken and the egg thing-- cuz I need to feel wanted to feel like I want to be there. I had been talking about quitting to Mike for awhile, but yesterday was IT... I was actually using the Internet at work to search! HAHA If I'm not snowed in on Sunday, I'll look in the paper to see what I can find, too. Gotta try to tough it out for a bit longer! Plus, I do feel kinda bad since they've spent the time and money to train me and all and they'll have to do it all over again with someone else, but I feel like I'm trying to get into a goddamned clique!!
Well, I'm falling asleep (how sad is that?!) so I need ot get another load going and crawl in bed where it's warm :) Oh yeah... I get breakfast in bed tomorrow!! :-D

current mood: loved

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Friday, January 3rd, 2003
1:07 pm - Update on the Life of Heather
Wow. So it's been a long time since I've written anything here! But, mind you, a lot has happened!!
I moved to my apt in Baltimore on Fri., Dec. 13. Started work on Mon., Dec. 16. Went home for a few days just before Christmas. Came back up here with Mama after Christmas and she helped me get a bed and get settled in some more. And here I am. That's it! ;)
HAHAHA.. you know me better than that. My life is always a bit more interesting than that :-P SO, here are some more random details. I'll try to keep to a minimum, but I do have like 2 mos. to catch up on.
Umm... 1st day in my apt, not even 10 min., I nearly got locked out since I forgot to carry the front door code down to my car with me. Thank god for photographic memories! :-p Dropped all my stuff down ("amazingly" it took much less time to unload my car than it did to load it. AND, it looked like much less stuff than it did all crammed into my dorm room), and headed out to do some shopping. Bought a nice 27-in. flat tube TV! Went to Wal-Mart and bought some random stuff such as lamps and toilet paper (okay, so you have to laugh at me about this one: I got to my apt that afternoon and I was busy and such. Luckily I didn't have to pee, but as I was thinking about some things I needed to get at Wally World, I just giggled out loud at myself-- I had to go buy toilet paper! Sorry... it had just never occurred to me before now! I always lived at home where Mama provided it [and picked out John Wayne tp-- that's tp that's "rough, tough, and won't take shit off nobody"], lived in a dorm, or visited hotels. So, it just made me laugh! Go ahead. Laugh at me. I don't care-- I love having the place to myself!!). Of course, the first things to get all settled and hooked up were my toys! I have my priorities, ya know :-p While a movie was playing, I fixed myself a palette in the floor to sleep/sit on. It was nice and comfy for a bit. But, I think having 2 people sleep on it the first night sorta flattened it or something cuz it wasn't as comfy as it was when I first made it. Oh well.
Work is going well. I'm finally getting the hang of things. I still have a lot of down time (aka NOW) when I don't have anything to do simply because I haven't been shown how to do it yet. I know it's not a case of there not being anything needing to be done, but I just don't know what there is to be done. Oh well... I remember all of the things I've been taught so far and do those. Though, it's so odd-- the first time I ordered office supplies, I felt like my job depended on ordering the proper paper towels! LOL
Oh... you may be interested to know that I have a fully equipped kitchen now! I have a microwave, a convenience oven, a sm. George Foreman, pots and pans, Pyrex bake ware, and groceries! Santa was quite good to me! The best gift, though: a handy dandy tool set! :) I also have a really cool floor-length mirror that I got at IKEA, but I have to figure out how to get stuff on my walls since they're plaster and nothing will nail or screw in. I'm still not all unpacked so I have clothes strewn everywhere and half-empty boxes and piles of random shit that have no place to go (no desk to put stuff in which is where a lot of that stuff originated). And, I still get all excited over the fact that I have a coat closet!!
Oh.. I'm sure you're all interested in the social aspect of being here all by myself.
Well, I've only been really lonely like one day, but that's okay. It's expected. As alluded to before, Joe came over my first night here. I haven't seen him since or talked to him too much, but oh well. He's so frustrating anyway. I can't see us together (haven't been able to for like 2 yrs), but I thought we could be better friends than we are. He just distances himself too much or something. I dunno. I think part of it is that he doesn't really seem to appreciate ME.
The story of the Marine, CJ: Well, like I said, I moved in on a Friday, and on Sun. I saw CJ. Went by his work in Tysons Corner, VA when I was on my way home from my aunt and uncle's in Manassas (which, btw, is cool for them! They've always lived away from family, and it's a pleasantly different thing for them to have family be able to drop in! ie: I was able to go to my cousin's chorus concert a couple of weeks ago). That was the first time I'd seen him like 2.5 years! So, I hung out with him and caught up a little. I also met one of his co-workers, Mike. Well, I found out Tues./Wed. that he's wanted me for 3.5 years and having me come back into his life totally screwed with him. He's been dating this girl named Stacey, but when I came back all his old feelings came back, and so he wanted to see where he and i could go. CJ said that after I left that first time, Mike said "Dude! That fucked with you didn't it?" and Mike said that CJ's favorite phrase afterwards was "Oh shit!" So, anyway... he got this brilliant idea to go to NYC for New Year's! So, we hopped in his car, he got a discount on a very nice hotel since he's in the military, and went downtown. We wound up not getting to see the ball drop since we got there so late and couldn't get to a place to see it. Next year, baby! Anyway, so we just went back to our hotel room and watched it drop on TV... no alcohol or anything-- grr!! So, yeah... that's when all this starts to come out. And we also talked a lot on the way back home on Wed. (after spending some time back downtown doing some shopping and sight-seeing and actually driving! dude! Meters are .25 for 10 min! insanity!!) Well, yeah.. so lots of stuff got out in the air. We actually had a serious conversation for once, so it was nice. But, I told him that I didn't think I'd make him happy anyway and we talked some more, and the final wrap-up on the subject was him saying, "You're still my Babydoll!" So, it's all good now. Though a song did sum up our fucked up relationship: "I love you! I hate you! I can't live without you!"
Okay... So, I've mentioned CJ's coworker Mike a couple of times. So, yeah... I met him the first time I saw CJ, then I saw him and talked to him again this past Sunday when I stopped by their work again since mama and I were shopping in Tyson's Corner. So, CJ and I had dinner and went back and talked to Mike for a long time. Then, CJ and I headed back over to their dispatch center, but before I left, Mike and I exchanged phone numbers!! (CJ did give his blessing for all this, though!) Well, I went back over to Mike when I left CJ and wound up talking to him for another hour! Before I really left, he asked me to go see a movie and if he could call me on New Year's Eve. I agreed happily. Well, he called me earlier on New Year's Eve and talked, and then he called me after midnight and we wound up talking for an hour! I felt so bad for CJ as CJ had just told me he wanted me and here I was talking to another guy. But, I couldn't really help it! Anyway... So, I he called me again on Wed. and we talked for another hour (I have GOT to get a real phone for such purposes!!). And, so... we went to see Catch Me If You Can last night. It is absolutely freakish how much we have in common. Not just in our likes, but also in the way we think about stuff! It's absolutely freaky!! But, amazingly so! I had an awesome time. I have no idea where it's going, but I have a good feeling :) *sighs happily* Of course, I haven't had a boyfriend in over 3.5 years, so I'm not sure I'd know what to do if I had one! I've changed so much since that time that I don't know how to have a relationship!! Oh well... CJ told me the other day that the relationship itself tells you what to do. Hehe... I'm getting giddy just thinking about it!
Hmm.. okay... I've been working on this journal entry for nearly 2 hrs (just coming back to it in the middle of doing stuff) so I hope it makes sense! Feel free to ask me any questions about anything!! Also, if you could, please send this entry to people that aren't on LJ that may be interested in what I have to say :-P
Hope everyone's New Year is going well. Mine is off to a great start!!

current mood: giddy

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Thursday, October 31st, 2002
10:13 pm - BIts of this, bits of that
Well, today, I went to see Dan Walther with my revised resume, and he said it looked good! He even gave me some job websites to check out. I haven't had time yet to look at them because I do have schoolwork to do. Plus, I've been busy responding to comments from friends about my decision.
First, I mentioned in one of those posts about putting in parts of a conversation I had with Jon Penny last night. He said he would probably get too lonely doing what I was doing. So, I had to think about that for awhile. I realized that this shouldn't be too much of a problem. I will have a 9-5-type job M-F (hopefully!), I will have some friends for a weekend social life. Plus, I can go visit with my aunt and uncle, and my cousins will have concerts and things I can attend. Plus, I've always been able to entertain myself! One of the few benefits of being an only child of a single parent who dragged you everywhere she went.
Hmm... I kinda wanted to talk about the responses I'm getting. It's almost ironic that most of the adults that I've talked to understand where I'm coming from and understand how I feel-- it's my peers that don't see it as well. Tom was just plain honest in saying that he didn't think I could do it-- which just pisses me off, but that's beside the point. I asked for honest opinions and I'm getting them, all over the spectrum. There does seem to be one consistency, though-- people keep pointing out the obvious to me: "It's not going to be easy!" This is one of the reasons my mother annoys me so much... she always tells me things I already know! So, this is why the responses of this nature have gotten under my skin-- I KNOW it is not going to be easy!! I cannot stress enough, however, that I need this! I firmly believe that it is essential to me becoming a healthier, more mature adult! I'm sorry if I offend people when I say things about someone who's 19,20,21 not quite understanding where I'm coming from-- I just feel like I'm at a different point in my life! I should already be out in the world at my age, so that's how I feel... it's time I went out into it! I also told Penny that I feel like a caged animal here-- in part explaining my foreign-to-me foul moods and snapping at people as I have this semester.
The decision is made, the plan is being implemented (ie: dropped classes, active job searching). And I feel great-- I'm DOing something about my life and changing the situation in which I'm unhappy! I believe the word I'm looking for here is "proactive"! :)
Wow... I just had an interesting conversation with someone I haven't talked to in ages! He asked me if I was moving for my guy friend in MD. He didn't believe me, but my comment back to him was a small revelation to myself-- my love life is not at the top of my agenda right now. The whole idea of this is to be independent! :)
Anyway... I have a lesson I need to finish planning for tomorrow and some major sleep that needs to be had! Getting up at 4am is for the birds-- the early birds, even... haha-- anyway... when I start crackin' Nick-jokes, it means I'm too tired :-P

current mood: sleepy

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Wednesday, October 30th, 2002
6:31 pm - Baltimore or Bust Update!
Okay, so I just need one more signature to drop all the classes I want! That will have to wait til Monday, but it was so schweet this afternoon to go through and delete out of my palm my classes and assignments that I'm not going to be taking! i'm still going to be busy and stuff... quite busy, in fact, but not insanely busy-- oh it was wonderful! :-D
Anyway, so here's the schcoop:
I called an apartment place in Baltimore and the lady was reallly nice! We wound up talkin' about the weather-- as odd and trite as that sounds, but we were comparing Chicago to Baltimore to SC weather :) She was really helpful. I told her that I had been debating whether to find a job first or an apt first, and she said that they had to have "verifiable income"-- so that answered THAT question... job first!
So, I looked around online some more and noticed that a lot of the jobs were posted by Manpower. So, I investigated this staffing service, called the one in Baltimore, and she said I needed to interview. So, this is a problem since I'm here! However, there is a Manpower office just in North Riverside on Cermak, so.... I have an interview there on Monday morning to do testing, and paperwork, and stuff-- and they can fax all that info to Baltimore (which is good as apparently the Chicago office is slooooow business)!! I was so happy to find this out! Everything seems to be just falling into place-- so far!
Well, I immediately started working on my resume. Thank God for Campus Security and multi-tasking at switchboard!! So, I ran down to Career Services to have them check it over, and the lady (who "just happens" to work once a week!) realllly helped me out making me sell myself-- oh wait, that sounds bad! I WILL NOT do that for my job :-P anyway... So, yeah.. I've been on cloud nine all day-- everything is just looking up!
I just have to DO this! Ya see?! I just have to take control and not be so stagnant which is the rut I've fallen into here. I can't be that way... I feel terrible in all respects when I am, so this is just amazing! I am DOing something with my life-- and I do have a plan to finish my degree. So, yeah...
*Does a happy dance!*

current mood: accomplished

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Tuesday, October 29th, 2002
4:46 pm - Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. --Emerson

Dear Mama and Daddy;
I won't say this will "probably" come as a shock to you because there is no "probably" about it-- it will shock you, but I hope you won't be too disappointed after you realize how much thought has gone into this decision. I'll just be blunt at first and then explain my action/decision and address your concerns.

I am going to move to Baltimore at the end of this semester. Here is why:

For awhile now, I have been extremely unhappy here. I realize that I have not expressed this fully to you, but it is the truth. Socially, I am fine. I have some great friends here to whom saying good-bye will be hard and very sad. However, that is not enough to keep me here. I have expressed my desire to friends over the last year and a half about leaving, and I always get the same response: "You're almost done!" So, I stayed. And my unhappiness grew. I won't say the money spent was wasted, but it certainly wasn't worth it. I don't regret coming here, but it is now time to move on. This semester has been my breaking point. I have not really been well physically, emotionally, and mentally-- all of these working hand-in-hand, I realize. My course load is just too heavy. Twenty credits (7 full-fledged classes) is, to quote my faculty advisor, "masochistic." I have gotten behind, and I could catch up. However, it was not even humanly possible to keep up with everything even if I didn't have to play catch-up. I tried really hard not to let this happen, but I've noticed that more often than not, when I get overwhelmed, instead of stressing and letting that stress fuel me, I just shut down. Like I said, I tried really hard not to let that happen, but it did. So, now I come to this crossroads in my life.
I could stay this course, thereby failing classes and/or stressing and worrying and getting so down that I just give it ALL up (I need not remind you of December of '98). I am SOO burnt out (which is really what this all boils down to... I just can't hack it anymore... I can't do it... I'm literally sick of it!)
Or, I could drop a few classes and continue to drag my education out even further. This would also make me unhappy because 1. I'm not finished yet, 2. I'm still here, 3. I can't afford it! and 4. I become even older and my desire to be on my own becomes even greater (more on that later).
.... Or sooner. I am 23 years old (as if you could forget, though sometimes I think y'all forget that your daughter is an adult!), and I am not sure if there is just this innate desire to be independent or what, but it is literally driving me nuts because I want to be on my own and doing adult things-- dependent on no one, though asking for help if needed (I'm not that proud and stubborn). I am not growing here. As funny/ironic as it sounds, my growth is being stunted here. I need to get out on my own, discover who I am, and become a responsible adult (which is not happening here). I think that's the biggest problem-- I've reached a point in my life where the college atmosphere is no longer nurturing to me... it serves me more as a cage and I'm bustin' out of it!
To recap so far: I've explained why I'm moving and what my other bleak options were. I don't want you to feel, however, that I am choosing to move because I feel I have no other options. I don't look at it that way-- this is something I want to do in and of itself and this is just presenting an opportunity to me; the timing is right. Trust me. Now, I will explain why I chose the Baltimore area and explain my Plan more fully.
Step 1: I am in the process of dropping down to 9 hours (3 classes). The classes I'm keeping are not the easiest ones (which none of mine are), but they are the ones I'm least behind in (if at all), enjoy the most, and aren't hurting me to keep. This part of the decision came about after speaking to my faculty advisor. I was ready to leave mid-semester, but she strongly encouraged me to stick it out until the end of the semester, take fewer classes, and walk away with something to show for the semester
Step 2: Originally, I was going to get another job with this "extra" time, but then I discovered that even though I had fewer classes, I STILL have a lot of work to do. So, the "extra" time will be used to 1. perhaps pick up a few extra hours at security when people need to get out of shifts, 2. work harder on the stuff I do have left to do so that it is better, and 3. Find a job-- which is becoming more time-consuming than I originally realized. Which brings me to Step 3.
Step 3: The job and the living arrangements-- For the last few nights, I have had 3 Internet browser windows open: 1 for jobs, 1 for apartments, and 1 for mapping it all out. I will get the input of some friends both here and there to help ensure that I don’t wind up in a bad neighborhood. I will have all this squared away ASAP so that I can start planning the actual move. I am sort of running in circles a little bit though: I need a job to sign for an apt, it looks like I'll need to be there to get a job, I can't move there without an apt, I need a job to sign for an apt-- see the cyclic pattern here? Anyway... I am moving forward with this and looking, e-mailing, faxing, making calls. It may turn out that I need to spend a week or so with Kathy and Tony so that I can interview and look at some final choices for an apt. I would appreciate help with creativity about how to do all this w/o wasting time and doing a lot of back-tracking travelwise. (Ideally, I'd like to be in my new place before the New Year :)) However, I do have an interview in MD on Monday, so this is a good thing, and I will spend the rest of the day looking at some apartments.
While I’m on the subject of jobs, I want you to understand that working is something that makes me very happy. You should know from watching me work over the years that I am dedicated when I work and am willing to work. This is due in part to the work ethic that I have created for myself (a combination of experience, observation, and being told by you). Working is not “bringing home a paycheck” to me. It is a responsibility from which I get great pleasure in a job well done, going the extra mile for people, working the hours (sometimes odd ones!), and just in general providing a service for people and doing it well. That is what makes me happy. An added bonus: since I am looking at administrative assistant/receptionist type jobs, I already have a professional wardrobe! hehe
So, now, you know WHY the move, and HOW I’m going about making a living. I’m sure the biggest question in your mind is “Why Baltimore?” Several big reasons:
1. There is family close by. Kathy and Tony don’t live that far from there, so I will have them by me (Hey! If the tradition of going to their house for Thanksgiving continues, that will work out nicely! :)) Granted, I am further away now without family, but I live in a community that provides the security that I’m sure you’re concerned about. I will be on my own, and that is a little scary, BUT I WILL be OKAY! And having them nearby in case of emergency will be comforting.
2. I already have a friend there (he is actually about an hour in the other direction from me than Kathy and Tony). This will be a start of a social life for me—he also being a contact for making other friends as well. Don’t let the fact that it is a “he” throw you! We are close, but I am not in love with him nor he with me, nor do I move there with the expectation of that happening. It could, but probably not, but since I am moving near a friend and not a potential boyfriend, that won't be a problem! (Plus, having a boyfriend creates a DEpendent situation, and that is not currently at the top of my priorities at the moment!) I also realized over this past weekend that I have another friend that I knew in SC that is now stationed in Quantico, VA-- also only an hour away! He's very excited about me being closer to him.. and he's a Marine, so should anything go wrong, I'll have the United States Marine Corps on my side!
3. As you know, it is nearly impossible to live anywhere on the East Coast without being within driving distance of a school. This will serve as a prod to remind me that I need to finish school when I’m ready—I just can’t do it right now. I just spoke with my academic advisor. She said that when I withdraw, I will have 3 years that my program will be valid and that I can finish my degree. Since I have so few credits left (especially if I wind up just doing a liberal arts English degree), that it doesn’t matter if I don’t take those here. I have 3 years to take those courses somewhere else, transfer them in, and still get a degree from CURF. It will probably be almost a year before I start back classes again. I will, but I just can’t do it right now! If I wind up doing just a liberal arts English degree, I am still perfectly set up to do Masters work in Library Science should I choose to pursue my higher degree. As I've thought about this more, I've also realized that my school loans will kick in in about 6 months! EWW!Well, I talked to my financial aid counselor, and she said there were a few options. I could get an extension on the deferrment or I could just extend the payback period (thereby halfing my payments... but, as I got a better job in time, I would be able to pay more on it and decrease the payback time again). Also, with the exception of the Signature Loan, I can consolidate any other loans I have, and the interest rate right now is the lowest it will probably ever be.
The next question to address: Mark, my supervisor and close friend, posed this question to me: “Are you sure you will be any happier there?” I thought long and carefully before answering him. I raised my head and looked at him tearfully and said, “Well, I'm not happy here!” I realize that it will be a gamble concerning this fact, But, when I think about it, staying here is also a gamble. It is a gamble with my emotional and physical health—ultimately my life! It is also a gamble that I either can't teach or won't like it while I'm student teaching or after I've graduated. But, isn't life about taking chances? I’ve always had the dream to open an atlas, close my eyes, and drop my finger and say, “Okay! I will move there!!” Well, this is as close as I can practically get to doing that. I’ve put much thought into my choice of location. Which brings me to your next question: "Why not move back home?!"
This is a little more difficult to explain. Let your consolation be, however, that I will be only half as far away as I am now.
As I'm sure you've figured out by now, after 23 years of my existence, that I am not, nor will I ever be, a homebody! I love and appreciate my family dearly—more than I usually express—I just don't have the need to be around them constantly. Plus, if I move home, I will not truly be independent. I will be under the roof of someone—I’ll be DEpendent! I know that being on my own won't be extremely easy, but this is what I want! One of my friends said that I will hit hard times and I will have to draw on inner strength to get through those times... in response to this, I asked how will I find my inner strength, grow in it, and learn how to use it if I'm not given the opportunity to hit those hard times.
I spoke with our Vice President of Administration. She said she did something very similar when she was only a little older than me-- just up and moved to Phoenix (at least I'm not doing that!). She said that she found herself and liked what she found... she said it was the best thing she could have done for herself. This is what I want and it is quite feasible. I am not 18 years old and looking to get away from parents. I am not looking at it as quitting something, but rather as moving onward and forward to establish my own place in the world. Not only do I want this, but I need this! I need to feel like an adult and feel like I have purpose. I am including lyrics from the Dixie Chicks’ song “Wide Open Spaces”… except I’m moving out EAST rather than West :)

Who doesn't know what I'm talking about
Who's never left home who's never struck out
To find a dream and a life of their own
A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone
Many precede and many will follow
A young girl's dream no longer hollow
It takes the shape of a place out West
But what it holds for her, she hasn't yet guessed

She needs wide open spaces
Room to make her big mistakes
She needs new faces
She knows the high stakes

She traveled this road as a child
Wide-eyed and grinning she never tired
But now she won't be coming back with the rest
If these are life's lessons, she'll take the test

I hope you can support this decision as you have all of my other ones. Just know that I am happier right now than I've been in a very long time! A very good friend of mine commended me on the guts I had to change the situation I'm in if I'm not happy. I know that it may seem crazy and insane, but he said, "The definition of insanity is to continue a process or action and to expect different results." So, I'm changing the process. Starting something new to get better results-- I get to have a kitty! :):)

current mood: ecstatic

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Sunday, August 25th, 2002
2:58 pm - Welcome Back!
Well, I realized that it's been a couple of weeks since I've last written! Eek! Not a lot has been happening that I can really talk about with anyone, but I haven't been too bored. Been entertaining myself a lot, but since I'm an only child, I tend to have the skills to do that and not get bored. Mark forgot to put me on the schedule for this last week.. oh darn! :-P True, I won't have hardly any money on my paycheck, but oh well.
Since I didn't have much to do, I went to Champaign on Sun. Well, I attempted to go to Champaign on Sun. evening. My alternator crapped out on me in an apparently bad part of town, but luckily (though it wasn't luck-- the whole thing was a god-send) a guy about my age was having car troubles and his dad and brother were there helping him. And eventually, the mom showed up, too. (Oh, they were probably the only white people w/in a 10 mile radius... and while I'm not racist, a lone white female in a bad part of town isn't safe with those odds) So, once they got the other son on his way, they fixed my car, which involved some switching of my battery with one of theirs(which "luck"ily was the same exact battery that was in my car) and they drove me out to Uptown Garage and dropped my car off and the son brought me home. "Luck"ily, the people only lived in Riverside, so it wasn't completely out of their way to help me. I was so very blessed that night.
So, after picking up my car on Mon. afternoon, I headed down to Champaign for the above-mentioned reason I can't share with anyone. On Tues. evening, I went to St. Louis... again :). On Wed. evening, I stopped in Bloomington to visit another friend (which I'm glad I did since I heard all about the power outage when I got back!), and came on home Thurs. evening. So, my little road trip made full-circle. Stopped in Champaign off of 57, then headed South to STL, then back north again on 55, stopping in Bloomington, then back home. Pretty circular. My car flipped over 86,000 miles on the way to Champaign! I've put some miles on that thing this summer! It's all been worth it, though :)
Well, I'm sitting in the lab as I am sans computer right now, and it is FREEEEZING, so I'm headed back ot my room to unthaw!
See most of y'all around campus!

current mood: cold

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Tuesday, August 13th, 2002
10:28 pm - Sex sign


What's *Your* Sex Sign?

current mood: sick

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Friday, August 2nd, 2002
1:15 am - Burnin' the midnight oil... but, I'm gettin' paid for it! :-D
I'm so clever sometimes :-p Today, I had a paper due for class. However, it did not get finished (for a few reasons, the least of which was going out for Aaron Schalk's 21st b-day). Today in class, we were supposed to come as someone we'd encountered during the course (author/character). So, I "went" as The Wife of Bath from the Canterbury Tales. She is the one who has had 5 husbands and is on the pilgrimage looking for #6. So... I wrote a letter to the class stating that I was sorry I couldn't be there but that I'd found husband #6 and got married last night and left for my honeymoon this morning. hehe... so I didn't actually go to class (I also mentioned my incomplete paper, which I am now trying to write at work-- aren't I so hard-working? :-p)
Hmm.. what else? oh yeah! My roomie's moving out!! She graduates Sat., so she's outta here tomorrow. I will have the room to myself for a couple of weeks!! YAY!!
I realized today that I have drank (have drunk, have drunken? I'm the English major and that word still gives me issues :-p) every other day since Sat.! =-O Sat. night, we did not drink on campus. Monday, went out for Geremy's 21st. Wednesday, went out for Aaron's 21st. Tomorrow, housewarming party for Sarah Welemirov (she, too, is moving off-campus :(). The cycle stops there, though!! No more reasons to party so frequently. But, I must say, however, that there are some people this summer who have started drinking and going out about that frequently EVERY week! So, I really don't feel too bad. Tomorrow will probably be the last time I drink for a long time as I go to Indianapolis for a couple of days to visit family that are visiting there, then my work schedule is all filled up til the 15th! I have the last week of the summer off somehow (gotta ask Mark about that tomorrow), so I'm trying to decide what to do with myself. I know what I WANT to do, it's just a matter of being allowed to do it ;) I'll give you 3 guesses what that is, but you're only gonna need 1 hehe WRONG! I do NOT want to go home :-P silly goose!
Speaking of home: Just a few more weeks, and I will be in the clear and will be able to reach my goal of not going home from Christmas to Christmas (once school starts, I will have no excuse to go home!). It's not that I don't love my family or appreciate all they do for me, they just annoy the hell out of me. If I could somehow just go home for like 3 days, spend most of that with Daddy and see my grandparents and talk about ANYthing other than school, I'd be happy. But, that doesn't work b/c actually getting home is a hassle and only staying for that short time isn't worth it. Oh well, guess I'll just have to stay here-- though, that's becoming less and less appealing. I'm ready to graduate, yo!! Once school starts, I'll be better.... maybe-- I will be hella busy, so we'll see how I hold up.
Hmm... okay, I've procrastinated long enough on my paper-- I do have two sentences written on it, though!

current mood: awake

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Monday, July 29th, 2002
2:14 am - In lighter news...
The shorts that I bought at the beginning of the summer to get me through are now falling off of me! AND, I was able to buy a pair of jeans that are one size smaller :) YAY! I'm not doing a whole lot, so of course, that's why it's going slow, but it's all good. Once school starts, I'll be too busy to eat :-P Anyway... it's bedtime. I'm tired since I did SOOOO much today! *sarcasm* Did jack shit! Had brunch, vegged, started watching Titanic, had dinner (which severly left something to be desired!), then Jon Penny and I vegged on my couch for like 6.5 hours watching movies on USA and a mini-marathon of Cheers on Nickelodeon. Gotta work on my paper tomorrow! Argh!

current mood: mellow

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1:45 am - Bleh... I'm a mess!
Grr... why can't I let go of the sucky-ass 21st birthday I had??? I know it's silly... over 2 years ago now, but I guess since all of my friends are now turning 21, they're having everything I did not have and I get bitter :( Tonight, people went out at midnight for Geremy's 21st. I just did not feel up to going out! Part of it is the money thing since I've already spent a lot on his present, and part of it is I didn't feel like dealing with a certain person I know would be there in the limelight as usual, and partly b/c I am slightly bitter. I'll go out with him tomorrow night, just not tonight. I guess I should have gone, but I feel as if I've lost Geremy somehow. He and I were so close last school year and summer, but once school started this past school year, he got really busy and our schedules never dovetailed enough for us to do anything together, and when I asked, he didn't seem to want to anyway. This summer, a couple of times, he's loitered at switchboard and talked to me, and we actually went to see... Sum of All Fears (had to think a minute what we saw, hence the dot dot dots), and that was pretty cool. Just... I don't know. I miss hanging out with him. I'm sure he didn't miss me not being there tonight :(
Anyway... so, yeah. Just in a funk. I have something else on my mind, too. It's not quite coherent yet, but I'll try.
I'm afraid that I will not ever have a meaningful relationship with a guy. Here's why: I thoroughly enjoy seducing guys (not for sex!!!) and having fun with them, and I'm afraid that I will be stuck with someone who's a nice guy and all, but will be no fun in that area. Surprisingly, I rarely find someone that is fun or at least fun to "seduce" (will put it in quotes to clarify that I don't seduce them to bed) that I actually want a relationship with or think one could work. When I say fun, I don't just mean physically-- I mean all the way around... that I can laugh and joke with, can say whatever pops into my head w/o worrying what he'll think, can just be fun-loving self (that, as I've said, and also as I've been told by one of my friends who's tried, many people don't even try to get to know and understand). Now that I have found that combination and can't have it, I'm worried that I'll have to settle for someone not so much fun. I know it's a silly worry, and i can't completely formulate it all out right now-- grr... where does the person who helps everyone else sort out/figure out stuff go when she needs to sort stuff out herself??

current mood: discontent

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Sunday, July 28th, 2002
2:50 pm - The Censored Version of my Weekend ;)
So, yeah... had hella fun in St. Louis again this weekend! :) Mmmm.... yummy :) Okay, das all-- all the details are in a private post... sorry ;)
Wow... that's sooo short compared to the private entry! hehe
So, yeah... I'm actually supposed to be in Champaign right now, but my friend Lennie decided to be a piss pot and didn't want company, so I had to drive on back to Chicago yesterday. (Oh, but, in case you can't tell, it was well worth the trip-- and plus, you people don't understand.. I LOVE driving long road trips.. I HATE around-town driving, but the long stuff, I love-- but, obviously, it's not the drive that made the weekend worth it :))
Umm... so, yeah... pineapple rum is good! :) Tried it in StL on the weekend of the 4th and liked it, so I bought some last night and got drunk off of it-- yay for shots! I lost count... I think 7. It's not too strong, so it's all good.
Well, I'm bored off my ass, so I think I'm going to watch a movie.

current mood: bored

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Tuesday, July 23rd, 2002
12:39 am - Yay!
So, i nearly passed out today at lunch! No, it wasn't from the lack of a/c all of campus.. it was from nerves! I had 2 CURF letters in my mail, and about half-way through lunch, I decided to open them. The first one I opened said "we regret to inform you that your application to the Professional/Internship semester has not been accepted"-- I nearly freaked until I read it over again to see WHICH it said.. so, then, I knew the other letter was going to determine my fate forever (and I'm not exaggerating) concerning the PRE-Professional semester (taking methods)... well, once I figured that out, I felt all the blood drain from my face and my heart nearly stopped... I could hardly open the envelope! I got it open and read the first line... "we are pleased to inform you that your application to the Pre-professional has been accepted"-- I nearly fainted right there from relief!! (I have fainted after the fact for something that was very nerve-wracking) I get to take methods next semester! The college of ed did NOT fuck me over this time. We'll have to work on the student teaching part, but that'll get fixed soon enough! :) Mostly cuz I don't have enough teacher-aiding hours in secondary yet-- but, I just switched my major and haven't had opportunity to even do any! So, yeah.. that was pretty exciting.
AND: I'm going to StLouis again this weekend O=-) We will have loads of fun again, though for a short time this time. I'm going to see my friend in Champaign again and was going to go down on Fri, but I have to answer a booty call ;) so I'll go to StL first then back up to Champaign... basically the reverse of my first trip to StL where I stopped in Champaign first (it's about half-way). I'm excited ;) Anyway...
off to bed with me! I will TRY to sleep, anyway :-P

current mood: giddy

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Saturday, July 20th, 2002
9:35 pm - Long overdue... I blame the heat ;)
So, not a whole ton going on around here. Same ol' same ol', really. Just hot. Had a nice cool snap for a few days-- that was awesome! :)
Oh, I went to St. Louis the weekend right after the 4th! I had an incredible time (to quote the guy I.. nm :-x)! Met lots of new cool people, drank lots of alcohol, fell in love, all that good stuff. And I do mean that seriously-- this guy is absolutely amazing! Unfortunately, he likes someone else :( We've talked about stuff, and of course, his way of handling me only makes me like him more. He's so unlike most guys. When I was there and we were talking and doing stuff, I'd say something like "wow... most guys do this" and he would say, "but, I'm not most guys am I?" I know that's a line, and I've heard it before, but what guys say and what they do are not always the same (usually not the same, in fact), but with him, I SEE him doing things that aren't like most guys. And like I said, we've talked. And I've been bluntly honest with him. Most of the time, I can't be that forward or I'm just flirting, but with him, something's said "be honest with him" so I've laid my cards out on the table. Though he likes this other girl, I still somehow feel like he and I aren't done. I can't say how I know or what that means exactly, I just know it's not over. In the meantime, he and I enjoy chatting online a lot. We have a huge agenda of things we need to talk about, but we're both so busy that we never get to it and we don't want to talk about them hurriedly or tiredly. Oh yeah... how did I meet this guy?, you wonder :-p Well... I met him on 3rd Kohn, actually. He was visiting Dan Hanson (he was in town for a conference) who was visiting 3rd Kohn, and when I got to the top of the stairs after work on Sat. night before the 4th, he was like "HELLO!" to me and Amberleigh. We both looked at each other and decided we didn't know who it was, so we changed shirts and went to investigate. I think I fell for him then and there :-P He is very cute, but it wasn't just that! I am a very good people-reader (I'm not gonna explain my gift in detail, so just take it at that, ask later :-p) and even then I knew he was amazing. I stayed awake all night thinking about this guy that I'd met and only talked to for about 30 min.! But, in that time, he deemed me cool as well and thought I'd be lots of fun to have at his 3rd annual 48-hour Fourth/Midsummer Bash! He offered me his number but we exchanged screennames instead so we could talk, and I could make the final decision as I needed to get out of one shift for work. (I wound up doing a switcheroo with someone and worked a 16-hr shift from 4pm to 8am) Well, I decided to go and I'm so glad I did! His friends all think I'm cool. They were like "Nick, you have to have her back!!" and Nick himself told me I was a hit! :) hehe *being nice and not saying anything about not being appreciated around here* Anyway... yeah. FLEW back on Monday to get back for work at 4. I didn't know my little car would go up to 85-90 ;) Ken, did you drive my car that fast to StL? :-p Oh, and I met most of Nick's family on Sunday as there was a family function he had to go to. So, of course, seeing him play with his 3-yr-old cousin only melted my heart even more! (My female friends understand this :-P) But, yes... even though he likes this other girl, he and I had a ton of fun ;)
Anymahoo... that's about the only thing exciting. Went to Six Flags this past Sun. with everyone. THat was fun. Bought some cool Superman tank tops! :-P Just waiting for my Man of Steel :) I've always been in love with Superman.
Just working and taking British Pre-Renaissance. I like the Canterbury Tales. They're much more interesting when you look at the work as a whole instead of just the individual tales, too. You catch more humour and irony that way! :)
Oh, and I've been being a nerd, too. Right after I changed my major, I joined NCTE (National Council for Teachers of English). And this week, I finally got mail from them other than my card! So, I have been soaking up all the articles and catalogues and teaching ideas and everything! I could feel my IQ rising at work yesterday! That was great... then, I went and drank all those points away, so I hung out at Borders tonight to get the level back up again ;) lol
Well, Jon Penny will be up here shortly to watch a movie so I need to get going. All my other friends went to MI w/o me this weekend RAR! OH well... it's kinda nice being by yourself when other people aren't around (not the same as being by yourself when you know they're around just not inviting you).
[insert 2 hours] just watched John Q with Penny... it's bedtime now. :)

current mood: sleepy

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Monday, July 1st, 2002
1:45 am
Good gravy! Go to bed already, Heather!! You're gonna put your eyes out staring at the computer screen. Oh well... Just wanted to update something, perhaps. I was scrolling through some of my previous entries and saw that I had poured my heart out about a certain guy. Well, could it be? could I actually be getting over him?! Not sure, but considering he's been a jerk to me one time too many (aka last Monday and all last week) I think I've finally started to NOT like him. Of course, I say this now and then he goes and says something sweet and he's forgiven, but we shall see! But, I don't think so... it be too hot for dat shee-it :-P (Not that that makes any sense, but I'm falling over currently and it makes perfect sense to me!)
I promise this is it!! GOOD NIGHT!!

current mood: sleepy

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1:41 am - One Year Older, One Year Wiser?
Ohhh, yes... and most memorably-- I had a birthday Tues! The big 2-3 =-O I'm gettin' old... oh well... despite what the song says, you still love me, right? *looks at you with puppy dog eyes and pouty lips*

current mood: flirty

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